(Today is the death anniversary of Barry, the husband of my very good friend Jo Anne Valerie (or just Valerie, Val as we fondly call her). I promised my friend to publish the essay I did -on that night I’ve received the tragic news – today. The incident and the helpless feeling I had for not being able to comfort my dear friend (she’s in Australia and I’m in the Philippines) gave me the strength to write again after a long hiatus.)
I read a message from a friend yesterday about another friend’s husband dying from a car accident. I was so affected because this friend mean so much to me and I can just imagine her agony and loss. Bad things happen, I know, but when it does happen to me or somebody I love, it’s surreal. It’ s like happening only in a dream and that I’ll wake up and be glad everything is over. But this has indeed occured and is still occuring. And the worse thing is that, I can not be with her to share her loss, I can only ache from where I am and “pray” that she’ll have the strength to carry on for her son.
I’m thinking, she’s too young to be experiencing this; he’s too young to die. But I never really have known her husband so it’s quite presumptuous of me. Maybe he has done what he has to do with his life. Maybe he has lived it to the fullest without regrets. Still, it’s a tragic way to go. I could have the opportunity to know him next year when my friend gets home for her birthday like she has always planned to do. This is the funny thing about life. You can always plan but you can never expect everything to happen as planned. It’s a very hard lesson to learn.
I’ve always been open to death. It’s a known fact in life and for years I’ve accepted that no one can avoid it. But I think, it’s second nature to people to feel invincible: to think that this thing we’re having now is never going to end. I know because I’d get that feeling sometimes. This tragedy is like a wake up call to me. It’s a reminder that nothing is permanent and that I can only hope for better things and to make the most of what I have, of what God is giving me.
My family is here now, that I have to be grateful for. I can never prevent bad things from happening but I can show and give them everything I’m capable of showing and giving. Then I leave it all to God. That’s fair enough I think.
God give my friend strength and may Barry’s soul rest in your peace.
written on November 2, 2010 at 1:00 AM
chasingwonderland 
Leave a comment